Articles
Think Positive
by F. Lucchetti, Ed. D.
We live at a time in this society where news and information has a negative connotation and tense. It is very easy for us to ascribe to negative ideas and negative thoughts. Being optimistic and a happy-go-lucky person is difficult to maintain in this type of societal environment. However, if we choose to stay positive we are rewarded with much better results and a different type of lifestyle. People who are positive are found to live longer, live healthier, and overall live happier. An optimist is not an individual who has no negative events in his life or stress. The difference is that an optimist will see the glass as being half-full versus half-empty. The difference is everything.
There are some habits an individual can learn to stay positive. What I learned from my partner and wife is that talking on the phone is one of the most positive experiences in her day. Just talking with her friends and discussing issues of life helps her cope better with stressors and lower her blood pressure. Her long term relationships provide many physical benefits. Talking with friends on a telephone has benefits, but even better is personal contact.
Another important habit for people is to say thank-you. As my granddaughters are learning at the ages of two and five, saying thank-you on a regular basis for things that are done for you or are helpful to you makes them smile. It is hard to be bitter and mad when you are feeling grateful. This is something that we forget as we get older, not realizing that it is still important to say thank-you. Certainly, in a healthy relationship saying thank-you is necessary to keep the communication channels open.
Another positive habit which is necessary for us to practice on a daily basis is what I call "random acts of kindness." These are good deeds that boost your sense of well-being and happiness. These deeds you do just because it gives you pleasure to be nice. These are things such as giving up a seat on a bus, buying an extra coffee for a coworker, letting someone step in front of you with one item or less at a grocery checkout. When you do these things you find that the payback really exceeds the effort. You immediately get instant gratification by realizing how others appreciate your kindness. Psychological research finds that five random acts of kindness a day is the optimum level of performance to help us feel good. However, don't worry, if that is too high a quota, random acts of kindness spontaneously delivered are also rewarding.
Stop and smell the roses! It is important for us on a regular basis to take some time for ourselves to make either a written assessment or a mental note of our accomplishments as well as expectations for the future. When you do a life review you get to list your accomplishments and there is an self-esteem booster. When you begin to consider events for the future you begin to have a positive outlook for future rewards. In retrospect, when you look at events that were bad you begin to realize that these served as opportunities to you to grow. Even though the challenge and experience at the time was negative the outcome was positive in that it made you become a stronger, better person. Remember, "that which does not kill you does make you stronger."
If all of this seems too good for you and you see yourself more as a pessimist, that is a feisty spirit who loves to complain, criticize, and generally mix it up with others, but then you also like to take action. This is also found to be better for you than being a passive pessimist. We all know the saying, "He is too ornery to die young." This somehow seems to prove out statistically. Even individuals who are ornery but somehow are active in their lifestyle seem to benefit by living a longer life. It is not clear that these people can say that they are happy, however, they seem to do better than passive pessimists who are paralyzed with gloom and doom.
The choice is to be optimistic and incorporate optimistic and healthful ways to stay a happy individual or choose to be an active pessimist, gain a reputation as such, and be alone. Whatever you choose, the message is the same….. “just do something”.